Does Love Have to Come Gift-wrapped?
I used to watch a TV show called "19 Kids and Counting". It was about the Duggar Family, who are famous for having so many children. Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar are Christian real estate agents. They have been blessed with many children and the income to support those children. I believe they work hard and don't make selfish choices in their lives. But the show is about how their kids are growing up and finding relationships of their own. The show makes it seems like all young men and women are wholesome, sweet-natured Christians and that is really not the case.
100 years ago most people still lived on farms or in small towns and families could watch over their children's love lives. But I think that two world wars, a great depression, and the drug-crazed 1960s have destroyed that sense of family values for millions of families. We still grow up in loving homes but many families are struggling to cope with the stresses of a powerful world. Every generation is a little more dysfunctional than the one before it and the Millennial Generation is split between "haves" and "have nots" who don't know how to treat each other with respect.
I think respect is very important to a loving relationship. How your partner respects other people shows you how they will respect you. When you grow up in a family and community that teaches people to respect others and treat each other kindly, you may be in for a rude shock when you go out into the world on your own. I wonder how many sweet Christian girls go off to college and learn bad habits like drinking and taking drugs that just set them on paths of misery, anger, and frustration for the rest of their lives. Then there are the girls who come out of heartbroken homes who find real love and a sense of purpose with their lives; maybe going to college is the first step in growing into someone who is better than the hurt behind them.
If learning how to date like a Christian is as simple as reading an article on the Internet then maybe more people need to read about it. But of course being a Christian is about so much more than just treating people with respect. It is about giving your heart to Jesus and believing that he really died to atone for all your sins. And some Christians may fall in love with people who don't know Jesus. We are, after all, supposed to be a light for the whole world so that others can see God's love through us.
Many girls grow up expecting to be queen for a day on their wedding day. In fact in the TV show "My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding" all the girls live for is finding a husband and getting married. And then their lives change to becoming mothers who groom their daughters to find husbands and have big fancy weddings. I think there should be more to life and love than that!
We spend so much of our time and energy dreaming of finding a soul mate that we don't look at the love that is right in front of us. Perfectly good young men are trying to meet girls every day but they don't have the confidence to say something. A good man needs to put aside his fear and just talk to a girl. But he can't just talk about himself or try to get into her pants.
Girls should take responsibility for finding the right love. He is not a scary guy or someone you wouldn't bring home to meet your parents. He is kind and gentle, strong and confident, brave and protective. But he has his faults, too. Girls love dreams and they can be so demanding.
Sometimes the soul mate you long to meet really is the goofy boy next door who never played on the football team. Just like in "13 Going on 30" he may grow up to be a real catch for someone else, a sincere, thoughtful, sharing man. The love of your life doesn't come gift-wrapped with a ribbon that says "Prince Charming". Prince Charming should arrive incognito so that you can learn about him as you spend time together. He'll show you his real value in time.